And so it’s gone.

Assalamualaikum.

Itu.

Itulah.

Yang kesayangan tu.

Dah.

Takde. 

       

T.T

So this is a story of my special sweet muweet mechanical pencil.

Apeeeee?!

Jangan sengih camtu la. Tampar kang -_-

Orang sedih ni. T.T

Pensel tu, pensel tekan. Pensel tu. Beli masa tingkatan 3. Banyakkkk sangat berjasa. Ujian, PMR, SPM, interview asasi, final exam asasi, UKM. Banyakkk jugak insan-insan tersayang yang share pensel tu dengan aku. Nampak tak betapa banyak kenangan kat situ? Nampak tak betapa pensel tu amat lah sentimental value nya terhadap saya? *sigh

Dulu. Masa asasi. Pernah hilang. Sebulan lebih kot. Padahal aku siap lekat nama lagi kat pensel tu. -_-

And for sebulan lebih tu jugak la aku pakai pensel kayu tu je. Tanak beli mechanical pensel yang lain. Tak best. Bila tulis rasa lain. Sobs sobs.

Rupanya Hafiz terambil. Dia pun tak sedar. Dah nak habis study baru dia nampak nama dekat pensel tu. Cetttt. 

Haritu pulak. Dalam 3 minggu lepas kot. Masa kelas Pembangunan Diri. Ada kerja kumpulan. And kami kena buat presentation.

Rafi pinjam. Pastu balik duk kalut2, tak mintak pun dari dia. Oh btw, kelas PD campur budak TESL, Sukan and Pendidikan Khas. So obviously aku tak kenal dia, taktau fb dia, taktau num dia. Kalau aku tahu konfem. konfemmmmm akan ku mintak saat itu jugak -_-

Tapi nasib baik, sistem UKM ni. Dia provide emel setiap student dlm kelas kita. So aku emel la dia. Tak balas pun. Grr! Bila dlm kelas pun *PD sekali seminggu ja, asal habis kelas, tak sempat nak pusing, eh eh dah lesap. Cis.

So Khamis lepas, kelas terakhir before final exam mula, aku sempat la cekup si Rafi ni ha. And I tanya dia, weh pensel aku mana? Pastu dia ckp, eh aku kasi dah la. Kat budak sebelah kau tu. Budak sebelah aku masa tu is Nupa.

And aku tanya Nupa. Nupa cakap,

I think I did see the pencil but bcos it has been awhile i dont have it with me anymore.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA -_____-''

Okay.

Hilangggggggg.

Maka aku pun sedih.

The End. 

-.-

Forgive me.

Assalamualaikum.

How can I put these feeling in words? Hm.

I am sorry for not being myself. No more punctual Ain. No more dedicated Ain. Haih. I am terribly sorry.

I just let the emotion took me down.

Probably due to flood in Kuantan. Can’t help but worrying sick for the people out there.

Tanak cakap banyak pasal flood ni dulu. Just prayin’ for them. As for now we’ve lost two precious lives, harapnya jangan bertambah bilangan tu.

Sungguh aku risau.

Dengan semua di sana. Dengan college project papers, assignments, exam prep. Semua dah tak tersusun. 

Kuca lana belaka.

Yes.

I skipped classes. I was sick, and sometimes I did that intentionally. *bad Ain* -.-

My commitment for group works?

I just, I don’t know. Nasib budak2 ni tak mengamuk lagi. At least they still care. Oh, I am so glad to have these people around.  

I am sorry. So sorry. For these past weeks. For these few days.

This is just not me.

Sorry.

The Rain

Alone.

Sitting on the bench, holding breath.

Hardly,

Gasping for the air,

Longing for the memories.

It was raining.

And she closed her eyes.

Seen nothing but darkness.

Yet the dark was pleasant,

And so she smiled.

Calmly listened to the rain drops.

One. Two. Three. Four.
And there,

In blurry of the evening,

She caught a face.
Him.

Reaching out the hand.
Asking for chance,
He once had.

Oh the raining just about to stop.
It taught her well,
To embrace new rainbow.

And so she stands.
One. Two. Three. Four.
The tears has gone.
Away with the rain.

Ain.

Stressed much?

Assalamualaikum.

Wargh~
Banyak gilos kerja sekarang ni -.-

Daftar UKM dulu 1/9. Pastu tak balik sammmmpai lah raya haji. Bila eh? Somewhere in middle October kan. Ha, lepastu balik sini semula. And haritu ada midsem break. Dekat dua minggu jugak la cuti dia.
Oh, yang tu pun tak balik. Melepak kat sini. Study lah konon. KONON -_____-''

So yeah, the assignmentsss, the quizessss, the programosssss, the meetingssss, makan tak tentu, tidur tak tentu, etc etc etc etc etc.

Melampau la pulak kan.

Sampai satu tahap ni, aku dah rasa macam, macam apa ek. Hm. Something is wrong somewhere. Yep yep. Sungguh. Stress, tapi aku simpan. Sudahnya jadi stress dalaman.

Then mula lah, sakit itu, sakit ini. Pening sana, pening sini. Muntah sana, muntah sini. Tak lawas sana, tak lawas sini. Angin sana, angin sini. Nak jejak ke Pusat Kesihatan tu olos, kemalasan yang teramat weh. Jadinya, kita pun go on jela dengan perkara2 kat atas tadi. Tak selesa pun, jalan semacam je semua kerja tu.

Haih.
So there's this one day. Memang dah tak larat gila.
Boleh normal semula pun sebab jumpa budak2 fac, sebab ade test haritu.
Elok je siap jawab, terus pegi jumpa Doctor.

Maka berlaku lah proses soal jawab dalam bilik rawatan tu. Check la apa yang patut. Cerita lah kerja semua tu.
And the Doctor, she said,

"Awak tahu kenapa awak jadi macam ni? Sebab terlalu banyak benda yang awak fikir, yang awak nak siapkan dalam satu masa. Ni dah jadi kes over-stressed tahu."

*well, bukan saya nak pun. ketua saya yg kasi due centu*

"So macam nilah, saya bagi ubat dengan vitamin ni sikit, make sure awak makan. And please, jaga semula pemakanan awak. Jangan makan benda mengarut or makan sesuka hati pukul berapa pun. Make sure you get yourself enough sleep. Oh, kalau boleh, pergi la mana-mana dulu. Rileks. Tadi pun cakap dah lama tak balik kan. Balik lah. One or two days at home should be fine."

So, aku dengan gumbiranya bercadang nak balik this weekend. :3
Assignments tu bawak balik la. Buat kerja dekat rumah best sikit. Perasaan stay rumah tu sangat wahhh~

Baru plan nak beli tiket, tiba-tiba ada senior dengan felo ni panggil.

Dipendekkan cerita, aku kena sketch and buat the whole pelan dekat computer untuk salah satu majlis ni. At least kena ada 10 pelanssssss. Nak main dgn lappy yek. 10 pulak tu. Dorang nak tengok semua tu hari Ahad ni. And hari ni hari apa? Oh yes, today's Wednesday.

Oh. Oh. Oh.
Lamanyaaaaaaaaaaa masa yang aku ada. -_______________-

Haih.

Jadi?

Tak balik lagi lah jawabnya.
Lepak UKM lagilah jawabnya.
Bertambah stress la jawabnya.

-.-

An Interview From China ^_^

Assalamualaikum.

Am currently going trough my tough weeks in UKM.
I mean, super busy weeks. Jangan risau, iolls masih bernafas di sini. Hehe :3

So yeah. Harini kelas habis awal andddd I am just too lazy nak layan buku or kerja dekat kolej ni. Tulah jadinya mengadap incik belog ni. <3

This time, I nak share satu pengalaman.
Aku kan, actually sangat seronok bila dapat peluang untuk communicate dengan foreigner. I mean, even tough my English tak hebat mana, at least boleh la jugak praktis skill English kita tu kan. :) So far, I dah pernah borak in real dengan Philipines, Arabian, Russian,  Japanese and Pakistani. Most of these people I jumpa masa buat asasi and now, degree. Alhamdulillah, peluang Allah bagi. Tak dapat study abroad, dapat camni pun dah okay. :)

One of my lecturer mintak tolong, sesiapa nak volunteer jadi respondent untuk kajian his student yang tengah buat Master. His student is from China. Tapi now dekat UKM lah. International student la katakan. Aku pun apa lagi kan. Laju jelah. Ihiks. Bukan apa, grab the chance while you can.  ;)

Tapi kitorang buat online interview je. Guna Facebook as medium. Sebab masing-masing busy kan. And tell ya what, sangat seronok bila chat dengan orang yang ada ilmu ni. Serius. So, sini I copy paste aje interview tu. Bukan niat riak atau apa, just nak share, apa yang orang luar nak tahu daripada local student macam kita ni. ^_^

***

 Assalaam Alaikom Aine. Are you free at the moment? Could we start the interview?

Waalaikumsalam. Yes, I am. Sure, we can start it right away.

That's great. Let me start with the first question. As a Malaysian undergraduate student, are you aware of the instruction medium of Malaysian higher education is either Bahasa Malaysia or English?

As far as I concerned the instruction medium is in Bahasa Malaysia.

I see. does that mean all your subjects are taught in BM?

Not really. Because the situation here is the ministry has emphasized the usage of English since the primary school. But the stress is more onto the science subjects such as Science and Mathematics for the primary meanwhile for the secondary students, they are currently learning Science, Biology, Physics, Mathematics, Additional Mathematics and Chemistry in English. But somehow we are gradually changing the medium of instruction into Bahasa Malaysia.

Are all you subjects now taught in BM?

Some of them.

I see, Which language do you prefer to be the instruction medium of your study?

Personally, I would go for English. It will be a good preparation for the students as they are going to use English most during the tertiary level.

That sounds wise to me. Now, please tell me, which language do you prefer the most for communication (speech; writing)?

To be honest, I prefer to use Bahasa Malaysia in my communication. I don't know, maybe it's due to the environment, the surrounding. I mean, people around me are most likely to use the mother language. So every time I use English in my speech or writing, the responds and feedback would be not very encouraging. Sometimes, it does makes me feel alienated for speaking foreign language. But in the same time, I do enjoy using English for my communication. Personally, I feel proud of myself that I am able to speak and write not only in one language. It is more to self-satisfaction.

You should be proud about it. Yes, I do agree with you. Could you tell me what does BM mean to you?

BM, it is my pride. It is my soul. I love my language. :)

Wow. that's amazing, i dont know if i have the same feeling to Mandrain as I am a chinese. :) 

Where , when and how did you learn BM?

I bet you have the feeling as well. You must have experienced the longing to speak in your first language. :) 

Well, basically, I learn it since I was in my mummy's tummy. :D

My mom was an excellent Bahasa Malaysia teacher and she used to have tuition classes at our house, which she got Malay, Chinese and Indian as her students. So I listen to the use of a proper Bahasa Malaysia since I was baby. She was always there for me, guiding me especially in the language subject. I think that was how I fall for language, both Bahasa Malaysia and English. And I guess that is how I learn BM well.

Family influence, that is probably the most powerful element in language learning.

When do you usually use BM?

Indeed. I use BM all the time. Except during the classes that require English as its medium of communication.

I see, that means you like to use BM as much as possible right.

Er, yes.

Do you have the intention for improve your BM skills?

I do.

Could you tell me a little why?

Because it is my first language. So I think it is important for me to be good in BM.

How do the people of your ethnic group perceive BM? are they mostly same like you?

Not all of them. I mean, they are looking up towards BM. But if you give a deeper look, Malaysian are more into their state accent. They will only use standard BM when they are in public. I mean when they are with people from different states. Usually, they will use BM, but in their states accent.

I see. The next question sounds a little silly here, but i do need to hear it from you. Which language do you consider as the most significant identity marker for you? BM or any other languages?

Hm. I think it would be BM. Yes, I think so..

Ok, now let's talk about English. What does English mean to you?

English. English is wisdom. English is a sign of bravery. Not everyone is willing to learn English.

Yes of course. I totally agree. Do you have the intention to improve your English skills?

Of course.

Could you tell me why is that important to you?

Because I want to improve myself. And, I would like to share the knowledge to my country. Thus, I need to improve my English skills.

That's not so common for a girl like your age. Amazing. Mostly the participants talk about how English help themselves. Two last questions. What do the people around you say about someone who is fluent in English?

Maybe it is because I came from a teacher family. The passion of sharing knowledge is still there.

Well. Most of the time, they will be amused. They will look up at the person. But there is also a group of people which being mean to the person as they think that the person only showing off his/her skills in English. I personally think that this kind of people do have issues with their emotion control, because when they are making fun of people, it just show how much they are jealous of the respective people.

Agreed. In china we say "grape is soured when you cannot have it". Last one why do you choose to study in English/BM?

Whoa, a new proverb for me! Thanks! :D

I do actually choose to study in both language. I don't mind. Because i I just love language and I think it would be a great deal for me to acquiring both BM and English as it would be a benefit; English will be much helpful if I am going abroad or dealing with foreigners(like what I'm doing right now) and BM for sure, within Malaysia or even when I am communicate which foreigner who would like to learn BM.

Alright, that's it. Thanks very much Aine. Sorry that it took you a bit linger. Hope that doesn't bother you too much. I really enjoyed the chat. I got a lot of good points from you which are all very helpful for my study.

Thanks again. May Allah reward you for helping my dear sister.

Have a good night.

My pleasure. Best of luck with your project. :)

Assalamualaikum.

woalaikomsalam.

***

^_^

Rindunya. T.T

Rindu.
Rasa nak balik.
Rasa nak pergi sana.
Rasa nak jumpa.
Rasa nak dengar suara.
Rasa nak tengok muka.
Rasa nak tatap mata.
Rasa nak solat sama-sama.
Rasa nak borak sama-sama.
Rasa nak makan minum sama-sama.
Rasa nak belajar sama-sama.

Ada yang perempuan.
Ada yang lelaki.

Ada yang masih di sini.
Dekat aja.
Ada yang masih di sini.
Tapi terasa jauh.
Ada yang memang jauh.
Ada pulak yang menjauh.
Ada yang takkan kembali lagi.

Tapi aku tetap aku.
Tetap macam ni.
Tetap di sini.

Biarlah.
Ada jodoh tak kemana.
Kan.
Kalau bukan rezeki bertemu di bumi Dia.
Kita jumpa di taman syurga nanti.

Insyaallah. :')

Diamonds of November :D

Assalamualaikum.

09 November.

Aku ada 2 orang kawan sekolah yang lahir tarikh ni. Pastu ada pulak classmate degree ni yang birthday harini jugak. So I thought, ohh, 3 orang jela yang aku kenal.

Sekali bukak facebook, 21 orang hari ini. Hari yang sama. Pergh, ampa ni suma pakat lahir beramai-ramai ek? Ihiks.

Okay, balik pada tujuan asal kita aku hapdet entri ni, nak ucap selamat ulang tahun untuk my girl friends ni! :D

Er, aku taktau siapa yang lahir dulu weh antara korang ni, so aku wish guna alphabet order aci tak? Hehew :3

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE GORGEOUS NOR ZULAIKHA ZUKIFLI !

suka pokok belakang tu!
*haha, leyqa marah XD

dia ex SMT Muadzam.
*innocent gila muka weh! 

Salah seorang DZAEC kami. Well, should I say you’re the DZAEC baby, my dear? Kau yang lambat sangat keluar kan. Haha.

Leyqa. Sentiasa cantik, sentiasa menawan. Maklum ler, produk negeri Che Siti Wan Kembang uolls! Harus ler lawa kan. Eheh.

Sangat setia dalam berkawan. Sangat selalu contact aku *muah sikit* and sangat tabah orangnya.

Oh kejap.

Ingat aku baik sangat ke nak list kan sangat sangat kebaikannn kau aje? Jap ek.

Nak gelak ala-ala evil tapi nampak cute? Kasi kat adik manis ni. Gosipp? Uh-huh, normal kot. XD  Jangan kasi dia marah, padang jarak padang terkukur la korang nanti. Haha. Aku kasi sikit jela Leyqa eh, yg lain tu top secret DZAEC. Ihiks! *wink wink :*

Next,

SANAH HELWAH TO THE FULGENT NUR AMIRA HAFIZA MOHD HISHAM !

such a beautiful family :')

Mira mira mira. My Mirae Kiroro <3

Mira yang sentiasa bijaksana. The one yang sangat determine untuk belajar. Used to be my musuh in academic achievement tapi last last dia menang jugakkk. Wuwuwu. Pity me. Haha.

Iya, kau bukan apart of DZAEC, tapi kau sebahagian daripada hidup aku, daripada diri aku :') 

Untuk semua ilmu yang kau share dengan aku, be it ilmu akademik or ilmu kehidupan. Untuk segala rahsia yang kita kongsi sama-sama. Untuk setiap masalah yang kita selesaikan bersama, I would like to address the appreciation just for you, my dearie :)

*oh, thanks jugak untuk jadi such a good setiausaha, lead pengawas dengan aku masa form 5 dulu. aku tak pernah ucap terima kasih kan. huh, bad PKP. hehe, sorry. 

So my sayang sayang sekalian, 

HAPPY 19 !!

To my Leyqa,

Habiskan diploma cepat-cepat, nanti boleh grad sesama :) Kuatkan semangat dengan orang kat sekeliling kau tu. Kau kan tabah :) Cepat sikit matang, tapi stay cute hokeh! Sayang kau selalu :)

To my Mirae,

Go go USM! Bawak semangat USM tu walau ke mana pun kau pergi. Kutip ilmu sebanyak yang mungkin, nanti boleh tolong guide aku jugak, hehe. Tetap kuat tak kisah lah orang nak cakap apa, nak fikir apa pasal kau. Keep the spirit up babe! :) Kelas masak memasak kita akan selalu on, kalau aku balik Kuantan la, ihiks XD Be a better Amira, but jangan hilangkan Amira yang aku kenal, Amira yang aku sayang tu. Aku tahu kau boleh! Love ya, lillahitaala :)

And to both of you,

NIKAH INVITE AKU OI !

Hehew :3

***

jugak, Happy Birthday untuk classmate aku, Aizat, si orang utara piawwww punya. Ahaks!

Mimpi

Assalamualaikum.

Just checked on my whatsapp and suddenly I got a notification. Ada mesej dari seorang kawan. Herm. Lebih dari seorang kawan sebenarnya. We used to share the day and nights together. But then, yah. Things just happen, kan. Somehow we got ourselves lost, even we are still on the same track. Paving our own path. How ironic, isn’t it?

Okay, that’s not the story -_-

She was curious to know about me. I mean, I okay atau tak.

Aku pun pelik.

Yelah. Tiba-tiba aje kn.

But then she said, she had a dream about me. The exact dream for 3 days. 3 days in a row. And it wasn’t a good dream.

So I asked, what’s the dream all about?

She said,

She saw me. She saw that I was in my hard times, facing something complicated that stop me from having a good life. Then, we both went to see a guy. A man, actually. I asked the man for some water. And I actually asked him to mix up 3 different types of water. He gave me the water. She saw my face as I was receiving the water and she said that my face showed that I was in a great pain.

Such a strange dream kan. And she dreamt that untuk 3 hari. Benda yang sama. Sebijik.

As I rasa sangat pelik, so I pulak tanya dia,

Was I the one who ask for the water or he insisted me for that?

- I asked for the water.

The man, whom we went to, was he a Malay and how old was he?

- She wasn’t sure about the race, but the man is in middle 40.

Was the water incarnated?

- She was not sure.

Did I drank the water?

- No.

Where did we met the man, was it in a house, in a forest or at a free land?

- She was not sure.

As we are not in a very likely situation as before, I have to admit, I was quite shocked lah kan tetiba dia kasi whatsapp macam tu. Masa mula-mula dia cakap dia mimpi yang tak baik pasal me, I ingat dia mimpi I mati ke apa. Sebab orang cakap kalau kita mimpi orang tu mati means orang tu akan panjang umur. And generally if kita mimpi yang buruk pasal orang tu, biasanya it means kebaikan utk org tu. But I am not so sure about this. Plus, mimpi yang sama untuk 3 hari kot.

Itulah, dia ada jugak pesan,

Hidup baik-baik. Jaga diri. Jaga maruah. Solat jangan tinggal. Jangan cepat percaya dekat orang.

She said that she just want to make sure that I am okay. She was worried sick for me.

And she also said this,

“Whatever it takes, whatever happened between us, I still do care about you, Ain.”

Herm.

I stayed up all night long trying to figure out what is behind the dream. My rumie, kak fa pesan jangan fikir sangat. Mimpi tu mainan tidur je. Plus, I dengan dia pulak macam ada selisih faham kan. But the thing is, mimpi tak semua mainan tidur. Ada mimpi yang bawa maksud, bawa erti.

Takut. Aku tak tahu kenapa, but I do feel scared. I am afraid. Afraid of… I don’t even know  what am I frightened of -.-

Bilik kitorang terang sampai ke pagi. I sengaja biar lampu tu pasang. Kak fa pesan kalau still tak sedap hati, istighfar Ain, zikir biar sampai terlelap. Biar nama Allah tu yang bermain dekat bibir, dekat lidah kita. I buat, and rasa tu kurang sikit. Tapi betul, takut bila fikir. And kipas malam tadi  pulak I rasa lain, macam angin yang betul-betul depan muka. Tapi I taknak bukak mata. I takut. I just berselubung dalam selimut, dalam terang bilik tu, tutup mata, tutup muka, berpeluh-peluh sambil istighfar, sambil zikir. I think I ada terlelap, but most of the time, I sedar. Even bunyi cengkerik kat luar bilik pun I dengar setiap satu. Bunyi angin, bunyi orang berjalan pergi toilet.

Ataupun tu kesan sebab I tengok 3 horror movies eh? And tetiba pulak dapat tahu orang mimpi pasal kita macam tu kan. 

Haih.

Ada maksud ke mimpi tu ya?

*_*

It's Just A Game :P

Assalamualaikum.

Ehem ehem.

So, macam apa yang anda boleh lihat di atas tu.

Ehem.

Saya. Eh, aku. 

Nak. Nak confess.

EHH?

Haha. Takde makna okaii I nak konpes segala bagai. Meh sini nak kongsi cerita sikit. :D

Alkisah bermula nampak my senior, a guy senior's status update,

"My mum set me for a blind date."

Kita ni punyalah nak support dia kan  aku kan junior baik so aku pun like la. Tetiba dah like tu, tak sempat nak comment good luck ke hapeh tetiba dapat chatbox dari dia. Message kat chatbox tu camni,

Yay you fell into the trap. This is a game. The person who likes/comments has to choose one of the following to post on his/her timeline. 1. I've been in 42 relationships 2. I think I like someone, what should I do? 3. My mom arranged me for a blind date 4. Someone invited me to be a prostitute, what should I do? 5. I forgotten to wear my underwear today 6. I am gona confess, support me 7. I still love my ex Note: you should not explain anything, just post and leave it for at least a day. I am also a victim lol I know it's lame but c'mon, be a sport and do it! After all, u fell for it too!

And I was like,

Abg Fahmiiiiiii!

Hampes sungguh la dia ni -_-

So, benda tu game rupanya. Wuwuwu. Bila tengok, memang ah lame. Amende la main game cenghitu kan. Tapi bila fikir lagi, sambil duk buat research tu, best jugak kot kalau try post ni. Maka aku pun mengepost la benda alah tersebut. And...

Dan komen-komen seterusnya di bawah ituuu.

Bila aku forward message tu dekat mereka ini, punya lah sorang-sorang bising. Lol XD

Apakah yang anda harapkan dari saya wahai sayang sayang?

Me confessing?

Haish.

Takkan kot.

Pernah buat sekali aje dulu.

Tu pun nasib baik tepuk dua belah yang berbunyi.

Tapi tak ke mana jugak kan.

-_-

But one thing yang aku dapat daripada game ni, I do have such great friends! Insan yang sangat supportive! Yep, I know some of them tahu cerita dulu tu. Dan ada jugak yang tak putus-putus mendoakan supaya jumpa dengan insan yang sebenarnya. Siap ada yang text lagi, "Ain, you're not gonna confess to the same person, aren't you?" 

Haha. Tidak la sayang. Insyaallah tidak.

Well. Setakat ni still menikmati jalan hidup yang free. Serik? Hm. Tak jugak. Cuma malas. Tak nak dah? Hoi, hg hilang akal ka apa? Mesti la nakk. Tapi chill lah. Ikut je flow dulu. :)

Ada rezeki nanti adalah.

And oh, nanti I buat confession besar-besaran yek.

Sekali dengan attach kad jemputan lagi uolls!

Eheh. XD

First Step.

Assalamualaikum.

Satu dua menjak ni, aku rasa aku macam hilang sesuatu. Bila fikir semula, bila duduk sorang-sorang, sikit demi sikit aku mula nampak apa yang hilang tu. Dan jauh di sudut hati, aku tahu benda tu penting. Penting sangat.

Tapi.
Ego tu tetap ada. Iblis tu setia duk mengipas kiri kanan depan belakang.

Jangan, Ain.
Jangan buat.
Biarkan aje macam tu.
Kau kan dah biasa macam tu.
Dia tak penting.
Biarkan.
Biarkan.

Aku, aku rasa tak boleh biarkan.
Aku nak jugak buat.
Tapi.
Aku malu.
Malu.

Semalam,
Aku buat jugak.
Dengan hanya satu panggilan telefon.
Yang mana aku tahu dia pun tak menduga.

Tak apalah,
Yang penting aku dah mulakan langkah kan.

Dan yang lagi penting,
Aku rasa kekosongan tu dah mula terisi, semula.

:')

Midsem Break :)

Assalamualaikum.

Well, here's the midsem break *finally.
Time flies so fast that I could hardly believe that we are now heading December. Got such hectic life here I tell ya. Ingenious enough to survive, huh? I guess so. Haha.

Should we look back on my promise regarding the great seniors during the orientation week, well I must say that hmm, the laziness just got on me. -.- But hey, how if I replace the Episod 3 with another entry? Bisa aja kan? :3

I won't be home for this break. Kenapa?
Sebab malas. Eheh.
Kali ni best sikit, sebab rumie pun tak balik jugak. :)

edited by kakfa
nak feeling dreamlike katanyaaa

Mind Your Words

Assalamualaikum.

So this entry is gonna be more or less about the people around us. The society, the friends, or even the family themselves.

Well, let me just get the thing clear.

Sopan sikit kalau nak bercakap tu boleh tak?
Boleh tak consider orang lain punya maruah?

I'm saying this for myself as well for others jugak.
It has been quite some times that I tengok kita senang sangat bagi impression dekat orang lain. I mean, yes, you are free to do so.

But then let's take the situation into a certain extent. Okay? I'll show you that it is not the matter of gender but it is the matter of the degree of acceptance. It's the humanity that you showed through both your action and words.

''Fuyoh, kau gemuk gila ah sekarang''
''Awat hg makin hitam weh''
''Muka kau teruk lah. Dengan minyak, jerawat, parut bagai''
''Pendek tetap pendek aje kau ni''
''Gigi kau memang camtu ek''

and so that is how it goes on..

Percaya kan. kalau benda ni you cakap dekat manusia yang waras, tak kisah dia lelaki mahupun perempuan, mesti dia akan terasa hati, betul tak? Even you guys kawan baik ke, saudara sedarah sedaging ke, dia akan tetap rasa something dekat hati dia tu. Sebabnya? Sebab dia ada hati, ada perasaan. Maka semua tu leads to the alter of emotion degrees.

As a matter of fact, yes, mungkin memang betul pun apa yang kau cakap tu. Memang dia gemuk, hitam, tak lawa and so forth. Yet, everybody has their dark side kan. Kau pun, tak payah bajet perfect sangat. Kita ni Allah cipta ada kurang lebih masing-masing. Elok je stabil dia. And I bet most of us tahu pasal tu kan. Maybe kau je kot, your brain's position tu tak berapa nak selari dengan lidah kau.

Cumanya, orang sekarang macam *macam okay* baik sikit. Terima je apa yang orang cakap. As those kind of so-called-manusia kata apa yang dorang cakap tu as gurauan, takde intention nak kutuk sekalipun, but then do they ever give a thought on keadaan orang yang dicakapkan itu? Heh, I guess the answer is no.

Aku bukan orang baik.
Aku pun pernah jugak cakap dekat orang.
Kadang-kadang tak sedar pun benda tu boleh terlepas.

Tapi.

At least aku try untuk jadi a better me.
Even mulut aku ni dia punya curiosity kekadang tak dapat nak dibendung.
Aku akan pergi cakap dekat orang tu sendiri.
Personally.
Bukannya depan semua orang.
Bukannya sesaje menggedik letak dekat komen social media.

Again.
Aku cakap ni based on my own experiences.
And others' as well.

Sebab aku pernah menunjuk.
Dan aku juga pernah ditunjuk.
Jadi aku faham.
Rasa gah mempermainkan orang lain.
Rasa pedih, malu, dipermainkan orang lain.

Kau ada otak.
Aku pun ada.
Kita sama-sama punya pendapat.
Punya pandangan.

Cumanya,
Fikir la dua, tiga, empat, lima kali sebelum cakap.
Sebelum tulis.

Sebab selalunya,
Kesan dari kata-kata mulut manusia ni,
Orang bawak sampai ke mati.

Bila dia dah mati.
Kau tak sempat nak mintak maaf.
Kan ke susah akhirat nanti.

*note to self as well.

19

Assalamualaikum.

Uiks. Sebulan dah tak jengah blog ni. Tak berjemah kat sini. Ada readers yang merindui cerita beta kah? Ceh, bajet je orang baca kan.  -_-

So,

14.10.20143 haritu, cukup lah sembilan belas tahun bernafas atas muka bumi ni. Alhamdulillah. Allah bagi kesempatan untuk teruskan hidup ni lagi. Dulu, selalu jugak fikir,

‘eh, sempat tak aku ni sekolah menengah?’

‘macam mana la rasa jadi cukup umur 18 tahun tu kan’

‘agak-agak dapat tak aku ni masuk universiti nanti?’

Syukur alhamdulillah tiga soalan tu dah terjawab. Dah lepas pun tiga-tiga fasa tu. J

Pengalaman turning officially 19?

Got vanilla ice-cream cakeeee! Omg omg! Bayangkan, VANILLA ice-cream cake. VANILLA tu. Pergh!  Memang sedap! Thanks to Kak Ngah sebab buat ala-ala mini surprise for me. Time hujan pulak tu kan datang rumah ain bawak cake. Atototo. Shuweet lah awak :3

Tadaaa ^_^

ni, anak2 angah. lagi sorang insyaallah tahun depan :)

maka bermula lah scene ituu...

Nampak tak kesungguhan nak potong kek tu? Lol. XD

Tapi ni actually dlm lepas isyak 13/10. But it's okay. Dalam Islam kan masa maghrib tu yang pertukaran hari. Kira dah masuk 14/10 lah :) 

Besoknya tu, siang 14/10, keluar dengan my DZAEC. It's been so long since we last lepak kan. I mean, lepak yang betul-betul duduk sekali, borak sekali, ketawa sekali. I miss those moments. I really do. :')

Syikin sponsor kereta, while me, Zieha and Leyqa duduk menumpang. Hehew. Thank youu babes for the day. Even ada krik krik moments jugak kan, tapi apedehal. Kita kan DZAEC :')

Lepas ni Syikin nak merantau tempat orang. Jauhhh di sana. Hati-hati sayang. Jangan lupa balik sini. Apepun, sini tanah kita, tempat kita. :) Zieha pulak, insyaallah habis STPM nanti nak tunggu panggilan uni kan. Aku tunggu kau dekat unis world ni. :) Leyqa, dah nak masuk part 4 untuk diploma dia. Wahh, senior tu. Hehe :) Dayang, tengah siap-siap nak makan nasi minyak. Dia yang paling awal dalam DZAEC ni. Ihiks. Rindu semua. :')

Sorry, I cakap pasal DZAEC selalu over. :3

Oh ya, lepas tu before balik UKM pun dapat ice-cream cake lagi. VANILLA chocolate ice-cream cake dari Kak Uda. Tu kalau chocolate tu tukar CAPPUCCINO mesti lagi ohsem. Haha, demand pulak kann. Well, betul la angah uda ni adik beradik. Taste sama. Dua-dua kasi ice-cream cake. Dua-dua ada perisa VANILLA. But takpeee, ain sukaaaaa :3 Thank you thank you thank youuuu! :*

So, what else? Hmm. Malam before 14/10 tu rasa nampak je scene Ibu wish my birthday. My birthday yang last dengan Ibu. Masa tu cukup 17 tahun. Ibu dekat bawah, tanda kertas exam. Me dalam bilik dekat atas. 12 midnight, Ibu ketuk pintu, ucap selamat hari lahir, lepas tu Ibu peluk, cium, and after that duduk dekat my katil. So Ibu ulang cerita pengalaman 1994 tu. Macam mana gembiranya rasa nak sambut kelahiran her precious princess ni. Proses kelahiran tu semua. How time flies that Ibu rasa macam baru semalam aku belajar berjalan but that night rupanya aku dah jadi SPM candidate. Then Ibu pesan SPM nanti buat betul-betul. Ibu pesan pasal nak cari kawan yang macam mana. Ibu pesan pasal macam mana nak tempuh hidup lepas dah habis sekolah nanti. Ibu pesan macam mana nak cari bakal suami nanti. Lepas dah habis pesan tu Ibu suruh tidur sebab dah lewat sangat. Again, she put me in her arms, selimutkan aku, cium dekat dahi, and masa nak tutup pintu tu, she smiled to me and said, ''Happy Birthday, sayang. Ibu sayang adik sangat-sangat. Goodnight. Assalamualaikum.''

Yeah, I stared at the door. The same door. But Ibu wasn't there anymore. Allah, rindunya. :')

Tahun ni tarikh hari lahir tu jatuh sehari sebelum Aidil Adha. Hari yang umat Islam disarankan berpuasa. :)

Thanks to those yang ingat. Thanks for those beautiful wishes. Insyaallah, umur ni takkan dipersia begitu sahaja. Insyaallah, I'll be a better me. You guys jugak, moga sama-sama kita ke arah kebaikan. :)

These are some of the beautiful messages :)

'' Kepada Aine-Maizurie, maafkan saya sebab lambat kasi wish :( HAPPY BIRTHDAY WAHAI BUDAK YANG BAIK, PENDIAM DAN ACTIVE. May Allah bless you always and through out your life. Domino's jgn dilupakan. I know that you've been through many things but hey, you though and that is admirable :) live life the fullest ay? Thank you for everything and Selamat Hari Raya AidilAdha :D ''

" AIN, HAPPYYY BIRTHDAYYY MAKCIKKKKKK! Selamat hari jadi, selamat hari raya! Haha. I wish u all the best in ur life. N byk2 kan doa arini. Ibu ain lahirkan a warrior not a normal human ni..haha sorry present tade la. Jauh.haha "

'' Assalamualaikum.. Buat Aine-Maizurie tersayang,,adik awak nii nk ucap Happy Birthday yg dh pun mencecah ke-19 hari ini. Hewhewhew.. Adik la pangkatnye sbb i lahir disember kan.. Haa.. Ain fina mintak maaf sgt.. Fina lambat wish.. Fina doa kn Ain happy selalu.. Sentiasa dirahmati dan diberkati Allah.. Sentiasa berjaya dlm ape yg ain ceburi.. Dpt jd great english teacher one day n x lupa semoga ain ditemukan dgn seorang pasangan hidup yakni jodoh yg benar2 tulus dan mampu pimpin Ain ke syurga Allah.. Fina syg Ain.. Jgn sedih2 ye.. Jaga diri selalu.. Lw ada apa2 bgthu la fina ye.. Lw fina xangkat fon jgn merajuk.. Nnt fina mst akn call balik.. In sha Allah.. Hehe. K syg.. Sweet  19 dear.. Love,, Fina <3 <3 <3 ''

'' Epy bezfay to u,, Epy bezday to aine,, Epy bezday to u... Selamat ary lahir shabat.. Smoga pnjg umo n dmrhkn rezeki.. I mizz u so damn much!!! Tlus eklaz : zulaikha ''

'' Sanah Helwah sygs! Semoga panjang umur, dimurahkan rezeki, sentiasa diberikan kesihatan yang baik, sentiasa kuat hadapi ujian-Nya, sentiasa dilindungi oleh Allah dan dipermudahkan segala urusan dunia akhirat. Ameen. :) muahh cket :* hehe. ''

'' hepy bufday to u.. hepy bufday to u.. hepy bufday to aine montel.. hepy bufday to u.. semoga sahabatku murah rezeki.panjang umur..yang paling penting..semoga persahabatan kita dirahmati Allah dan kekal selamanya..terima kasih kerana sudi jd kawan aku selama ni. kaulah kawan yang terbaik ! i love u so much!''

'' Dear ainnnn sayangku <3 sayang selamat hari lahir. Ya Allah rindunya kat ainnnn. Wuwu. Sweet 19 sayang. Mudah2an Allah permudahkan semua urusan dunia akhirat+berjaya di sini dan di sana ;) sayangg ainnn sampai syurga <3 ''

'' Happy bday to youuu happyy bdy to youuu! Happy bday my soul buddy ! Happy bday to you dearest aine ! May be blessed always love you my soulmate ! :* ''

Thanks. <3

DBS

Assalamualaikum.

Kak Fa, my rumie sangat fond dengan band Hujan tu. Boleh kata semua lagu Hujan lah dia tahu. -_-

So tadi dia layan satu lagu Hujan ni and I was curious to know the song. With the headphones on, she just literally telling me the lyrics, without the melody.

But first, I tanya jugak, apa DBS tu stands for?

Kak Fa cakap, DBS tu maksudnya Dia Bukan Segalanya.

Kau gadaikan segalanya
Tinggi langit tak terkata
Dengan harapan ia takkan curang
Namun semua musnah sekelip mata

Dia bukan segalanya, cinta telah mati
Biar apa pun kata hati realitinya kau harus pergi
Dia bukan segalanya, cinta telah mati
Biar apa pun kata hati realitinya kau harus pergi

Dialah insan idaman
Tak kisah lah lelaki atau perempuan
Pingat emas dalam acara sukan
Ku pasti kau sempat ubah fikiran

Dia bukan segalanya, cinta telah mati
Biar apa pun kata hati realitinya kau harus pergi
Dia bukan segalanya, cinta telah mati
Biar apa pun kata hati realitinya kau harus pergi

Dia bukan segalanya, cinta telah mati
Biar apa pun kata hati realitinya kau harus pergi
Dia bukan segalanya, cinta telah mati
Biar apa pun kata hati realitinya kau harus pergi

Personally, I do think yang lirik ni memang whoa! And for me jugak, this song bukan pasal cinta si penulis lirik tu aje, it may be something else as well. We should never put such high expectation on anything. Expectation hurts. 

Hantu Samsung?

Assalamualaikum.

Okay, aku tahu kalau ikut previous entry this time aku patut post UKM Episod 3. Tapi tak kira, biar dulu benda tu. Aku nak cerita pasal satu hal ni.

As I ada dua numbers, so I pakai dua phones. Ehem, bukan nak membazir ye, lagi nak jimat. Maxis ke maxis, celcom ke celcom. Tayah nak buat muka menganjing tu bila baca. Tak baik. Ehek.

So this is about my Galaxy Y. Nak kata baru tak baru la. Krismas 2011 dulu. Tapi memang dah selalu jatuh pun. Terlepas masa nak tarik boot kereta la. Tersepak la. Jadi ala-ala bola besbol la anak sedara I buat.

Haih -_-‘

Then I masuk UKM. Masuk Kolej Dato’ Onn ni. 

Okay, before this ada la jugak kan phone tu dia tiba-tiba mati sendiri. Pastu boleh on semula. Ataupun, dia mati sebab takde battery. But the thing here is, dekat sini, setiap saat Incik Galaxy Y ni mematikan dirinya sendiri and lepas tu dalam tak sampai sesaat jugak beliau menghidupkan dirinya sendiri. Kadang-kadang tu bila aku tengok, oh, battery kosong rupanya. Fine la, aku charge la. Pernah haritu, betapa nak eksperimen, aku charge 8 jam betul phone tu. Lepas tu dia boleh on. Alhamdulillah. Tapi kejap je. Paling lama pun dalam 5 minit centu. Sempat aku tengok kut la ada mesej masuk ke apa ke, lepas tu baru je nak touch screen dia padam semula. Kadang-kadang tu, in the middle of jawab call orang, dia mati. If taip text cepat-cepat pun, baru je nak tekan send, dia mati.

Tak ke annoying tu?!

Okay fine, maybe battery tu kena tukar. Yelah, memang dalam setahun lebih ni aku tak pernah tukar pun. So aku tukar la. Habis rm30 kot buat tukar tu saja. Tapi, sama je. Cengghitu jugak. Pelik sungguh.

Stresssssss I tahu tak. -______-‘’

Yang buat masalahnya lagi, elok aje aku keluar dari blok bilik ni, dia terus boleh on. I mean, hidup terus. Hm. Kalau dekat luar pun kadang-kadang ada jugak tetiba mati tapi tak la sekerap masa dekat blok bilik.

Serius, dekat dalam kolej ni, mana-mana pergi elok aje dia. Masuk aje blok, dia mati. Dia buat hal. Dekat fac ke, dekat mana ke, boleh je on.

So tadi I lunch dengan Teslians kan. Cerita la pasal ni.

And suddenly Mimi cakap,

“ Eee Ain, entah-entah ada apa-apa tak? Hantu Samsungggg. Takutnyaaaa.”

Haha.

Memang aku gelak. Mengarut betul si Mimi ni. Takde kejadahnya nak hantu Samsung apa segala bagai.

Tapi.

Tapi.

Tapi, memikirkan yang roommate aku cerita pasal malam tadi, pasal dia rasa dia kena tindih sampai dia tak larat nak panggil aku yang tidur kat katil seberang aje ni, aku macamm, hmmmm.

Haish.

Tolong la incik Galaxy Y. Awak tahu tak yang awak tu adalah spesies android? Which means, I boleh check my mail, my whatsapp, my blogs and stuff through you. The other phone tu biasa je. Dia tak istimewa macam awak. Please la. Jangan la paksa aku buang or trade in kau wahai Incik Galaxy Y. Sedar la sikit kau tu barang pertama aku beli 100% duit aku sendiri. Dah la beli time kau baru keluar, time kau tengah bajet bajet cam retisss hots gituw kan. Plus, kau barang terakhir aku beli dengan Ibu.

Jangan la macam ni. Kesian la dekat aku. :’(

UKM Episod 2 : 8640 Seconds of Love ^_^

Assalamualaikum.

Masa hari pendaftaran tu, i jumpa dengan family Nana. Oh yes, this Nana is the same Embun, my rumie zaman asasi dulu. Ada ibu dengan tok wan dia. Lepas tu jumpa family Baby sekali. Auh, I tak pernah tahu yang Bie has a very special and adorable lil sis. And masa both families nak balik tu, aku salam la kan. As Bie panggil her mum 'Ibu', kira sama macam aku lah. Lepas dah salam dengan Bie's mum tu, tiba-tiba her mum look at me, senyum and she kiss me. Both on the forehead and cheeks.

I was...
touched.

The feeling of being love.The feeling to be in a mother's hug. Wrapped in the mother's love.

Thank you, so much. :') 

Next, harus ler promote my rumet dulu. Ehek ehek.

Kak Fa

Nama dia Nur Thafiqah Tahir. Tapi panggil Iffa je. Orang Penang ni. Makin pro la i cakap utagha pasni. Hehew. Kitorang sama fac, tapi Kak Fa ni ambik Pendidikan Khas. Me taking TESL. Dan hofkos dia seorang yang sangattt penyabar, sebab tu boleh ambik kos tu. While me? Ehek ehek. I kecoh ler. Jemah for sure. Lol XD

Next.
Taraaa, budak TESL pertama aku jumpa kat kolej ni. :D

Joanna Bunga Noah. She's a Chinese. Her father's Sarawakian while her mum's Singaporean. But takde muka cina pun kan. Hehe. Budak matriks Johor dulu. Oh ya, dia macammmmm Jiha!

#same 1

#same 2

So the left one is Jiha. Sama kannnn. Haha. Perangai pun lebih kurang je. :D

Third.
Kalau ada jodoh tak kemana. Wewewe.

embunnn!

Dulu sem 1 foundation jadi rumie. Now jadi jiran blok. Pursuing her Law, she's still the same Embun.

Well, who would know that her real name is Ameera Farhana kan. Lain gilaaa. Haha, credit to me and ex rumies for the name la weh :P

Heart.

She is my comel Babyyyyy :*

awhh :)

Okay, those're people yang i excited bila lepak sesama.

Yang lain pun ramai, tapi.. malas la. -_-'

8640 seconds of loveeeeeeee :3

Wuuuuuu. 

Dulu Uitm Di Hatiku. Now boleh tak nak cakap hati i dah berubah arah? Leulz. 

Dekat sini, I mean dekat KDO ni, kita senang nak kenal dengan orang. Somehow maybe sebab kolej ni kecik, so, yah. 

I tak reti lah nak cakap macam mana seronok tu. Baru kenal tapi alhamdulillah, senang nak masuk. Masa main sama-sama, selesaikan task sama-sama.

Sebenarnya, kitorang ni dah dimanjakan dengan PCs. Sangat-sangat manja. Tu yang seronok gila tu. Kira for me, 70% daripada 8640 seconds tu sebab kami punya PCs. :)

Amende PCs tu?

Nanti eh, episod 3. Khas untuk PCs terchenta. 

Eceh. :3