Assalamualaikum.
You know, I never thought that we could be friends. Well I
never thought that I would ever know someone as you, honestly.
But then there was the day, the day that I first met you,
that we first talked to each other. And I was like, hey, this is pretty cool.
If only you know, how I adore you then. How I look up to you. I mean, you’re
one great man, or at least great enough for me to call a friend. Yet I know
that there was a line separating us. Needless to say, I didn’t see the chance
of befriend with you.
Life sure is one game worth playing. Still remember the very
first moment we became friends? And, the moment that we, you and I decided that
we ain’t just friends, but we are best friends, forever and always.
I treasure every seconds we had. You know me well enough to
know that I am that type of girl who remembers everything; in it’s very finely
details. And I know you too, to know that you are the type of guy who forgets
things.
It is such a waste to type all of our memories here.
I know.
But I couldn’t help myself. It hurts so bad to lose you. Oh,
I did tell you this. And I still can listen to your reply, that night, saying,
ah you can do this ain. You can forget everything. You can forget us. You can
forget me. What you need is just time. I can still listen to them and I can still see the scenes,
being replay all the times.
Ouch.
And that one fine night. You were there beside me. And I was
looking at your picture in my hand, more to stare at those eyes. And I said
that I miss him. I miss him so bad. And I turned to you, asking, where is my
best friend. What have you done to him. I want him back.
And you said.
How can I do that. How can I return you your best friend,
when he is dead. He’s dead ain. Face it. I will be here, you can always look at
me when you miss him but not more than that. He’s no longer here. I am a new
me. The one you used to know, has dead. Don't you get me? He’s dead.
I never know how to live with that fact. I know well that it’s
hard to move on, especially with a death but don’t tell me to move on with a
death while I still have to live with the exact same figure, same smile, same
smell, same jokes, same everything, for every single day here.
Allahu.
Oh, my last year birthday. You were there with me,
celebrating it, for almost the whole day. But there was one thing. Never did
anyone tell me that I shall not have the happiness on my day. Never did anyone
tell me that I should be sad on that day. And never did anyone tell me that my
birthday is not even my day. Never. No one, except for you.
How cruel was that to be uttered on such special day for
your best friend?
And today, is your birthday.
You seemed to be very sure that I did not remember it. Heh.
I wish I could.
But the thing is, I just remember it.
And I wish I could say those words to you.
But I just could not.
‘cause I’m living a dead friendship. tell me, how am I supposed
to wish happy birthday, to a dead best friend?
…
